i post things on my blog regardless of the fact that nobody reads them. i write about things i care about. things which to you, are trivial as you do not know me. that's O.K. you can skip my blog if you like because i am not writing for you. i am writing because i need to. i need a way of expressing this ache inside of me that will not go away. i need it so i can reflect back on it at a later date. i can stop looking back to a time when i was happy with him. this proves i never was. i have always been alone. my habits have not changed and he still looks away from me. i am vulnerable and i am angry. i am mean to my mother and critical of my sister. i spread gossip about my friends and i am just wanting to be loved.